Stay put for 8 hours and we'll give you some money

So I just returned from my vacation.
I am completely rejuvenated.

"I was juvenated once.
Lost it.
Got juventated again.
Re-Juventated."

Actually that above statement is kind of a fib. I am glad to be back in Philadelphia, but my whole plane ride home I kept thinking about my job.

I actually feel like I get paid to essentially stay put somewhere for 8 hours. It is like I signed up for someone to come down and say
"Hello Lea,
If you stay in the one building for eight hours, we will give you an hour of work to do, and the rest of the time you must look busy. After that is completed at the end of every two weeks, you can have some money."

I am not sure how much I enjoy this arrangement. Yes the shelter and food are pretty good, but mentally, I think I am losing something. I acutally watched the movie "Dodge ball" yesterday, and when I fell asleep through it the first time, I started watching it again from where I remembered leaving off. Does that sound like something an intelligent person would do?

I mean some how they have a pirate in that movie? Someone was casted as the pirate in a dodge ball movie! The sad thing about that, is the man who played that dumb pirate is actually a pretty good actor. Alan Tudyk, or some might remember him as "Wash" from firefly/serenity. If you are a real tv nerd he was also "Pastor Veal", Anne (bland, egg, Anne Bell)'s dad in Arrested Development.

I think I had a larger purpose to this post, but as the keys start to fly by more I realize that complaining about work is not the way to go. I think that I should just start doing office pranks.
Or getting everyone in the office to play the "Circle Game"

Got you. Next time I see you, I am punching you!

Dreams really do come true

This is it everybody, I am off to the land of milk and honey.
Or commerce and fun!

Yep, Colin and I are going to Disney World again. Call it a re-union, Call it a great vacation spot, but please "Don't call it a come back"

This time we are going to dive into deep sea adventures in Sea World, and possibly try to conquer the majestic Blizzard Beach. There is a water slide that supposably makes you travel over 60 miles per hour. Not only will I test my own personal limits, but I will test the strength of my NEW Victoria's Secret bathing suit. I have a sneaky suspcion that the world of Disney will be seeing my boob pop out, but hey that is the definition of family fun.

Here are some things I expect to accomplish while in Florida:

-I will get sun burned on at least 80% of my body
-I will drunkly sing, not one but two Michael Jackson songs
-Watching my Grandpop (Which I will get to see, and Colin will get to meet) whistle while making his muscle dance
-Drink at least three bottles of some type of Whiskey
-Probably making out in one hotel pool
-Finding Walt Disney's frozen head and taking my picture with it while wearing mouse ears
-Getting four or five stretched pennies. I collect them, I even have a book

I have more but I actually have to work.
Gross.

How the titanic sank

So last night I made and decorated a Titanic cake.
After assembling it, turning my face blue with icing it looked ok.
I was able to take photos, but this morning the worst happened.

It was like the fridge went back to 1912 and the second part of the ship sank! The cake on the one side was destroyed, because it crashed into iceberg lettuce (Ok I made that up to be dramatic, but it did hit something in the fridge and broke through all 16 hulls)

I am sure the party will still be a success, but the first person that mentions the destroyed cake will be as dead as one of the patrons that was on that ship in 1912. The will not freeze to death because of the warm weather, but I will think of something else just as terrible.

On a sunday morning?

So I have recently been watching "The Wire" and honestly I cannot get enough of the show.

The show has really made me want to enter the drug game.

Here are a few reasons why I would excel at being the most triflin, frightin, low down drug dealer.

1) I know how to talk like I am from the streets. Unlike most white people, I do not need an urban dictionary to run this shit. (That means run the operation)
2) What cop would ever suspect me of being a drug dealer? Have you seen me lately? Look at my cheeks
Who expects a Cabbage patch kid to sell them drugs? No one, I would get away clean!
3) I already have like three or four gansta names. For example: Lil Cheesy. If that doesn't scream drug overlord what does? I have also been called Lil Buns and Lil Tank. All as tough as the streets themselves.
4) I am a master of disguise!

For those of you who can not tell, that is me! I know hard to believe.
5) I have a pose that plays GTA like all the time. What better learning tool is there than grand theft auto on how to be a gansta?
6) Finally I have seen almost all of the episodes of The Wire and have watched the commentary. That show pretty much shows you how not to get caught.


Now I just need to find someone to give me a package.

Oh internet spill forth with entertaining bounty

I have discovered time and time again that my multi-tasking ability is by far one of the strongest in all of Philadelphia.

Right now I am typing on the internet, drinking a soda, drawing in a scratch magic book, and I just completed a nose pick task force mission.

I know you are wondering
"What, That is amazing! But how Lea, how can you top all of that"

Well by reading this magazine and the Metro paper on my desk at the sametime.

"But Lea, don't you have work that needs to be completed"

Well faithful reader, I am finsihed that too, in fact I finished all work about a year ago.

My future plans for the day are to draw and eat lunch at some point.

I also found out that pistachio's are being recalled around the country for semonila(spelled wrong I am sure).
What is America coming to.

Everyday is like monday

So I just dropped my glasses in the toliet, So if I have pink eye next week we all know why.

How to you properly clean your glasses after something like that happens? (And if you are wondering yes it was after I already went)
I ran a bunch of really hot water and filled the sink up with soap. Hopefully that kills all germs in my path?

In other news I cannot figure out how to work the internet properly. I have been coming up with road blocks left and right trying to make the internet entertain me, and with no luck.

This is about as interesting as a monday morning can get I guess.