In case you ever questioned...

There comes a time in everyone's life when they have to decide how commited they are to the things they love.

Well, Sorry mom, but I am pretty commited.

If I don't cut my finer nails, someone is going to get hurt

There has been a lot of controversy over if I can train my cat to walk on a leash, OR
More like if it is right to walk my cat on a leash.

For the Internet world who does not know me well, I have a cat named "The Boo"


I think he is just about the best cat in the world, but some have compared him to other more unfavorable characters...


Months ago I moved into a new apartment, which I enjoy but is the smallest place that The Boo has ever lived. Since moving this apartment he has become very attention starved and a bit rambunctious. So my solution has been to try and ween him into walking with me outside. So I purchased a cat harness and the great experiment has begun.

We started with just wearing the harness in the house, no leash, no restrictions, just a little harness. He is rewarded with treats to not bite my face.

Phase two so far has been difficult yet successful. We have made it to the porch and our goal is to "sit pretty". The first day he freaked out for about an hour and embarrassed me in front of my neighbors. Eventually calming down, but still tried to bit the Mexican guy that lives next to me.

Day two of phase two was much easier than day one. He only freaked out a quarter of the time as last week and fell asleep.

I am not ready to embark of Phase 3 yet, which is walking to the corner store, but all things come to those who wait.

Here are some helpful facts to cat walking
http://www.hdw-inc.com/leashtraining.htm

let the great experiment begin!

uh oh

So I am getting seriously nervous about how I am going to try and spend the next hour and five minutes looking like I have something to do.

I have managed to kill about 3 hours with internet searching, but the time is nearing no return. I will escape to lunch at two but there is so much time to look busy in between now and then.

The sad thing is I want real work. I would love to wake up and say, man I can't wait to have something to do today. Which I do, after 4. I have plenty to do after 4 pm today. In fact I have so much stuff I can do outside of this job, that it would be great not to have it. However looking nice thin by choice probably is completely different than being thin due to starvation since I cannot afford food.

I wish that more jobs were becoming available. Maybe I should spend this time looking for work.

I guess I will try that.

A little Rambo in the morning

Today's stock room discussion started off with me discussing my obtainable dream of owning an all Rocky montage tape. Mostly of trainging and fight scenes, but I would probably also add a few choice quotes. 

Anway, Howard (a small fellow of about 57 who uses an oxygen tank) told me that his favorite Rocky was "First Blood". 

I looked at him for a minute to make sure he wasn't joking, and than proceeded to explain to him that Rocky, is a character, and what he is thinking of is the person Sly Stallone playing John Rambo. 

He didn't quite follow what I was saying, but we did agree that "First Blood" was an excellent movie. 

You have to use three different marinades

So this weekend was another successful BBQ.
Harold threw a BBQ for me because it was my birthday last week.

I made food for it, and discovered that marinading is the secret to true happiness. Not just in food but in love, life, and sundays.

Let me explain,

When it comes to love,
You cannot just jump into the relationship. You have to let it stew, sit, soak in the juice (gross). You can't just assume that what you are doing will taste great at first bite. You have to put the correct spices into the recipe. If you just always go for the fast solution, you end up with the McDonald's of relationships over and over again.

When it comes to Life,
If you just went into it with what you were first handed it would be boring. Nothing to do, nothing to invest in, nothing to cherish. You have to develop opinions and morals. You would taste terrible over hot coals if there was nothing to you! You also have to accept that sometimes things are like onions, you cry over what will one day turn out to be delicious.

When it comes to Sundays,
You can't rush a perfect sunday. You have to go out to breakfast, decide if the movies you are going to watch for the day are going to be comedy, horror, or action themed. You have to pick the right combination of comedies to what you are going to eat.
You can't have chinese during a horror movie! You will be trying to pick up a piece of General Tso's with chopsticks and miss a slash or gash! That is a pizza situation. Quick bites that you don't have to focus on. Falafel during a romantic dramaedy? What are you thinking?! How sexy are hot balls? None to!

Finally when it comes to the Sunday you cannot just spend it with any friend, you have to find a Harold type character. One that knows how to pick Chinese food like a fine wine. Can understand the subtle joke of "Canadian Tuxedo", and will cry with you over the fat kid in "Bad Santa"

Yes Folks marinading is the secret. It only took me until 25 to learn it.

If you want to smile

Check out Vikki's blog.
She is an old friend.
I stumbled upon this today and it makes me pretty happy.

http://vikkichu.blogspot.com

Very talented.

Did Noah come down and tell anyone to build an Arc?

Yesterday I went to the Barnes Foundation and Museum http://www.barnesfoundation.org/

The patrons of the Barnes museum all had a creepily familar resemblence to each other. Most were middle age, "hippish", but obviously make over 65,000 a year. I saw more earth shoes and Sigg bottles then I care to on a nomarl day.

Another interesting thing about the people at the Barnes was that several of them were wearing protective masks, to prevent them from catching the Swine Flu. I saw more people wearing protective masks at the Barnes in the suburbs than all of Philadelphia yesterday. Think about that, think about who CNN is targeting to care about this "potential pandemic".

Of course I took every opportunity to get close to these people and pretend sneeze or cough. Say loudly near them how I just returned from a flight. I had one woman completely leave the room to get away from, while others just scattered in different directions.

Now don't get me wrong, some of the art was interesting to see, but over all the most beautiful thing about the museum was the people.

vs

Stay put for 8 hours and we'll give you some money

So I just returned from my vacation.
I am completely rejuvenated.

"I was juvenated once.
Lost it.
Got juventated again.
Re-Juventated."

Actually that above statement is kind of a fib. I am glad to be back in Philadelphia, but my whole plane ride home I kept thinking about my job.

I actually feel like I get paid to essentially stay put somewhere for 8 hours. It is like I signed up for someone to come down and say
"Hello Lea,
If you stay in the one building for eight hours, we will give you an hour of work to do, and the rest of the time you must look busy. After that is completed at the end of every two weeks, you can have some money."

I am not sure how much I enjoy this arrangement. Yes the shelter and food are pretty good, but mentally, I think I am losing something. I acutally watched the movie "Dodge ball" yesterday, and when I fell asleep through it the first time, I started watching it again from where I remembered leaving off. Does that sound like something an intelligent person would do?

I mean some how they have a pirate in that movie? Someone was casted as the pirate in a dodge ball movie! The sad thing about that, is the man who played that dumb pirate is actually a pretty good actor. Alan Tudyk, or some might remember him as "Wash" from firefly/serenity. If you are a real tv nerd he was also "Pastor Veal", Anne (bland, egg, Anne Bell)'s dad in Arrested Development.

I think I had a larger purpose to this post, but as the keys start to fly by more I realize that complaining about work is not the way to go. I think that I should just start doing office pranks.
Or getting everyone in the office to play the "Circle Game"

Got you. Next time I see you, I am punching you!

Dreams really do come true

This is it everybody, I am off to the land of milk and honey.
Or commerce and fun!

Yep, Colin and I are going to Disney World again. Call it a re-union, Call it a great vacation spot, but please "Don't call it a come back"

This time we are going to dive into deep sea adventures in Sea World, and possibly try to conquer the majestic Blizzard Beach. There is a water slide that supposably makes you travel over 60 miles per hour. Not only will I test my own personal limits, but I will test the strength of my NEW Victoria's Secret bathing suit. I have a sneaky suspcion that the world of Disney will be seeing my boob pop out, but hey that is the definition of family fun.

Here are some things I expect to accomplish while in Florida:

-I will get sun burned on at least 80% of my body
-I will drunkly sing, not one but two Michael Jackson songs
-Watching my Grandpop (Which I will get to see, and Colin will get to meet) whistle while making his muscle dance
-Drink at least three bottles of some type of Whiskey
-Probably making out in one hotel pool
-Finding Walt Disney's frozen head and taking my picture with it while wearing mouse ears
-Getting four or five stretched pennies. I collect them, I even have a book

I have more but I actually have to work.
Gross.

How the titanic sank

So last night I made and decorated a Titanic cake.
After assembling it, turning my face blue with icing it looked ok.
I was able to take photos, but this morning the worst happened.

It was like the fridge went back to 1912 and the second part of the ship sank! The cake on the one side was destroyed, because it crashed into iceberg lettuce (Ok I made that up to be dramatic, but it did hit something in the fridge and broke through all 16 hulls)

I am sure the party will still be a success, but the first person that mentions the destroyed cake will be as dead as one of the patrons that was on that ship in 1912. The will not freeze to death because of the warm weather, but I will think of something else just as terrible.

On a sunday morning?

So I have recently been watching "The Wire" and honestly I cannot get enough of the show.

The show has really made me want to enter the drug game.

Here are a few reasons why I would excel at being the most triflin, frightin, low down drug dealer.

1) I know how to talk like I am from the streets. Unlike most white people, I do not need an urban dictionary to run this shit. (That means run the operation)
2) What cop would ever suspect me of being a drug dealer? Have you seen me lately? Look at my cheeks
Who expects a Cabbage patch kid to sell them drugs? No one, I would get away clean!
3) I already have like three or four gansta names. For example: Lil Cheesy. If that doesn't scream drug overlord what does? I have also been called Lil Buns and Lil Tank. All as tough as the streets themselves.
4) I am a master of disguise!

For those of you who can not tell, that is me! I know hard to believe.
5) I have a pose that plays GTA like all the time. What better learning tool is there than grand theft auto on how to be a gansta?
6) Finally I have seen almost all of the episodes of The Wire and have watched the commentary. That show pretty much shows you how not to get caught.


Now I just need to find someone to give me a package.

Oh internet spill forth with entertaining bounty

I have discovered time and time again that my multi-tasking ability is by far one of the strongest in all of Philadelphia.

Right now I am typing on the internet, drinking a soda, drawing in a scratch magic book, and I just completed a nose pick task force mission.

I know you are wondering
"What, That is amazing! But how Lea, how can you top all of that"

Well by reading this magazine and the Metro paper on my desk at the sametime.

"But Lea, don't you have work that needs to be completed"

Well faithful reader, I am finsihed that too, in fact I finished all work about a year ago.

My future plans for the day are to draw and eat lunch at some point.

I also found out that pistachio's are being recalled around the country for semonila(spelled wrong I am sure).
What is America coming to.

Everyday is like monday

So I just dropped my glasses in the toliet, So if I have pink eye next week we all know why.

How to you properly clean your glasses after something like that happens? (And if you are wondering yes it was after I already went)
I ran a bunch of really hot water and filled the sink up with soap. Hopefully that kills all germs in my path?

In other news I cannot figure out how to work the internet properly. I have been coming up with road blocks left and right trying to make the internet entertain me, and with no luck.

This is about as interesting as a monday morning can get I guess.

So why won't the weather behave?

Yesterday it was almost 60 degrees out, today 40?
Why can March not commit to one temp? If it is going to be cold, let it consistantly be cold. I wore a dress today thinking I was in the safe zone. What happen you are wondering?
We a wasted day of shaved legs for starters! Plus those of you who know me, have you seen my boobs? Erect nipples is just class less!


Well I have almost gotten caught three times at work updating a blog and not working, so that is all for now.

Exciting stuff.

Is my voice heard?

Oh mighty internet blogging area, I am back!
After months of not writing about my daily exploits, I have returned to entertain you!

What has been going on in my life you ask?
Well a few things,

One, I thought there was going to be a Michael Jackson come back (or farewell, however you want to look at it) tour. OF COURSE there are only tour dates in London. After I signed up to sell my ovaries to pay for my ticket.

Two, I am currently wasting my life in a new location. I was in Elkins Park working and now I am in a new basement on Temple's main campus. My job has some how manifested to be even more boring than what is originally was.

Three,
Spring is around the corner, which means I will be back in a big way. I usually hide for the winter, but soon, so soon I will emerge and celebrate spring, with bar hopping and BBQ arranging.

This is one post of many to come.

Also I will be showing art soon, you should come see it.

<3
Lea